Little Black Book Read online

  CONNECT IRL

  Emails are great for making initial contact, but nothing beats the power of a face-to-face meeting. A half-hour coffee date is a hundred times more powerful than dozens of emails, so when you’re reaching out cold to someone, meeting them in person should be your go-to goal for all but the most cursory of relationships. Always gun for that if you think it’s an option; people are more likely to remember or help out people they feel they know, and you can’t get to know an email address. Once you’ve got that all-important face-time scheduled, here’s how to get the most out of it.

  Be on time

  This one doesn’t really need explaining.

  Do your research

  Don’t turn up armed with questions that a cursory Google could have revealed the answer to. It’s lazy, and a waste of both your time.

  Have a clear ask (again)

  As with an email, you should have a clear ask or goal in mind for the meeting. If you’re the one who initiated the meeting, be prepared to steer the conversation. Don’t make your contact do the work.

  Wrap up on time

  Don’t make your contact late for their next meeting. Keep an eye on the clock and stick to the amount of time agreed, unless they say they’re happy to stay for longer.

  Get a referral

  A great way of ending a meeting is by asking your contact if there’s anyone who they think you should meet, thereby potentially getting an introduction to someone who might be of interest. It’s a great way to expand your network, and people are often only too happy to play the role of ‘connector’.

  Follow up

  Send an email thanking them for their time within a day or two, while you’re still fresh on their mind – this is also a good opportunity to remind them of anything they agreed to do or send, and for you to do likewise.

  Chapter 9

  LOOKING AFTER NUMBER ONE

  KEEPING YOUR MIND AND BODY ON TRACK

  ‘If you don’t take control over your time and your life, other people will gobble it up.’

  – Michelle Obama, lawyer and former FLOTUS

  You’re probably already well aware of how essential taking care of your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing is to your ability to work productively and efficiently – and yet, somehow, when things are busy on the work front, self-care is very often the first thing to take a back seat. It’s incredibly easy to forget, but prioritizing work at the expense of your health is the ultimate false economy. Being consistently stressed out, overworked, or run down is a terrible starting point from which to produce good work. Practising self-care is as vital to your career as turning up to work every day, so here are some straightforward ideas to help you do just that.

  MIND

  Prevention is always better than cure, and identifying a few go-to stress management techniques before your stress levels spiral out of control is the best way of making sure they don’t. One tried and tested method that’s great for creative thinkers is mindfulness, a form of meditation stemming from early Buddhist practice. With benefits that include improving your focus and boosting your memory, it’s a useful technique for busy creatives juggling lots of different commitments. Here’s how to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine.

  Mornings

  When you first wake up in the morning, spend two minutes in bed with your eyes closed, simply focusing on the movement of your breath flowing in and out of your body. Whenever you feel your mind drifting towards distracting thoughts about the day ahead, bring your focus back to the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body.

  At work

  Once you arrive at work, take a few minutes at your desk to do the same breathing exercise, to centre yourself before getting down to business. Repeat as necessary throughout the day whenever you feel things getting a bit overwhelming.

  Home time

  Tempting as it is to while away your commute glued to your phone, spend at least some of it with your music off and phone stowed away in your bag, just focusing on your breathing.

  Bedtime

  Once you’re tucked up in bed, spend two minutes replicating your morning wake-up routine, this time visualizing all the thoughts and worries of the day literally melting away.

  Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to adopt these exercises all at once. Keep things manageable by picking one or two occasions where you think you’d benefit most from a greater sense of calm, and start with those. The waking up/bedtime combo, practised from the comfort of your own bed, is a good place to start. The exercises will soon become second nature, and you can build up from there.

  BODY

  When it comes to creativity, the physical informs the mental. Giving your body the TLC it deserves will set you up to do your best work, and keep your ideas flowing. Here’s how.

  Food for thought

  Around 20 to 30 per cent of your daily calorie intake is used to regulate your brain function, so if you’re not well fed you’ll have trouble operating at full force. The key to maintaining a healthy diet even when you’re under pressure is to plan ahead – when you’re pressed for time, it’s far too easy to reach for unhealthy ready meals, or even skip meals altogether. Why not try preparing larger batches of food in advance at the weekends, to save yourself time and energy during the week? If you work from home, try to accumulate a go-to repertoire of a few speedy lunch options. Make sure you’ve also got the right kind of snacks to hand to keep you going between meals. Low-GI foods like nuts, (unsweetened) popcorn, carrots topped with hummus or guacamole, and dark chocolate are all ‘brain foods’, so they’ll stave off hunger pangs and boost your brainpower. Win-win.

  Keep it moving

  Making time for regular exercise is a hugely important aspect of your self-care regime – the endorphin rush from a great workout can lift even the sourest of moods, and letting your thoughts drift is a great way of getting your creative juices flowing. Ideally, you should aim to work out around two to three times a week, and the key to making exercise a regular part of your everyday life is finding an activity you genuinely enjoy. Just because everyone you know seems to be an avid runner or SoulCycle addict, doesn’t necessarily mean that’ll work for you, so experiment until you find something that does – whether that’s a lung-busting cardio class, a chilled-out yoga session or something in between. Working out doesn’t have to be expensive either – skip the pricey gym membership and try a free app or YouTube fitness channel for luxe personal trainer vibes in the comfort of your own home. FitnessBlender and the Nike+ Training Club app are both great places to start.

  Catch some zzz’s

  Getting enough shut-eye is vital for staying on top of your game, and the quality of sleep you get is just as important as the quantity. If either one of those is off-kilter, then your daytime energy and productivity levels will bear the brunt. Try to set aside half an hour before bed to wind down with a book, or whatever it is that helps your brain slow down after a hectic day. This wind-down period should also be a totally screen-free zone, as exposure to blue light immediately before bed significantly affects your sleep quality by preventing your body from releasing the chemical that helps you sleep. Be sure to put your phone on silent before bed, and leave it outside your bedroom along with your laptop. Your bed should be a source of sanity not stress, which means making it a work-free zone – no answering emails or doing a quick bit of online banking in bed, OK?

  BALANCE

  When it comes to the creative industries, the lines between the personal and the professional are often pretty blurry, and drawing a clear distinction between work and home can be difficult – especially if you’re self-employed and actually work from home. Read on for some pointers on how to find that ever-elusive work-life balance.

  Establish some boundaries

  Carving out some personal space outside of the work you do is crucial to maintaining a sense of self. Think consciously about where you want to draw the line between the personal and the professional, and
create a few rules that help you do that. They could be anything from not replying to emails in the evenings or at weekends, to keeping your Facebook friend list a work-free zone. Whatever they are, once you’ve put these boundaries in place it’s up to you to respect them, thereby sending the message to other people that they’re not up for negotiation.

  Know your limits

  While constantly challenging yourself is important for your professional growth, be mindful of biting off more than you can chew. Always consider new requests in the context of existing commitments and deadlines. Particularly if you’re self-employed, it’s often better to say no and maintain a good relationship with a potential client or employer as opposed to delivering work that’s rushed or half-assed, and risk damaging the relationship for good. Remember: there’ll be a next time.

  Stay social

  Human beings are social creatures – we need regular social interaction to stay happy and sane, so be sure to schedule in regular down time with friends to stop yourself from getting into a funk. If you’re a freelancer and usually work solo, team up with a fellow freelance friend and pick one day a week to work together. Creative work is very often a solitary endeavour, but that doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone.

  Treat yourself

  Don’t forget to reward yourself for a job well done! An afternoon with a stack of fresh magazines, a cute manicure, a relaxing weekend away … whatever floats your boat. Never underestimate the power of some straight-up indulgence to boost your spirits and rejuvenate the soul.

  Say ‘no’ more often

  The word ‘no’ is one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal when it comes to protecting your time and energy. Not all requests or opportunities are created equal, and stretching yourself too thin in an attempt to accommodate every request that comes your way is a sure-fire way to make everyone happy except yourself – and that’s if you manage to fulfil all of your obligations. Whenever your inner people-pleaser gives you a hard time over saying no to someone, or you’re tempted to say yes to something because you feel too awkward about the alternative, try to remind yourself of what’s really on the line. The opportunity cost of saying ‘yes’ when you really ought to say ‘no’ is time that could be spent doing other more fruitful work (or y’know, relaxing). Weighing up what you’re sacrificing in order to make room for superfluous requests can be pretty damn motivating.

  Chapter 10

  Q&A

  WORDS OF WISDOM FROM SOME INSPIRATIONAL WOMEN

  ‘Because you deserve better than made-up Marilyn Monroe quotes.’

  – Otegha Uwagba, founder of Women Who

  WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHER WORKING WOMEN?

  Know your worth and assert it. Women are still vilified for exercising the tenacity and assertiveness that men are applauded for in work situations, and that’s magnified in creative industries, where you see young women putting in huge emotional investments yet still feeling like they need to downplay their abilities. Which is bullshit. You have to become your own biggest cheerleader, even if it makes you cringe at first.

  Jo Fuertes-Knight, journalist

  Apologize only when you’ve done something that actually requires apology. Don’t apologize for speaking your mind or saying no or claiming your space or having ambition or taking credit when it is your due.

  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, writer

  I do think it’s important to be unapologetic about what you do. I used to mumble aspects of my job – flagging up only the bits I thought sounded most mainstream – but now I try hard to give each thing I do the weight it deserves.

  Pandora Sykes, journalist and stylist

  Take up space – don’t be apologetic about your ideas and opinions. Men aren’t.

  Linsey Young, curator at Tate Britain

  The one thing you really need to know before starting a business is yourself. You need to know your limits, and how far you’re willing to go. You’re going to have to work really hard – do you have that in you? Is this something you’re really passionate about? What are your strengths, and what can hold you back?

  Serena Guen, founder and CEO of SUITCASE Magazine

  I think my answer to this question has changed a lot since having a baby. Before, I’d have said something about being assertive and making use of the unique position you have in the fashion world, by being both the creative and the target market. But now I realize the challenges that women face are not only external obstacles, but internal ones as well. I now have to be successful and work to the detriment of my relationship with my baby, and that is a sacrifice that I have to feel good about – but I reason that I now work harder when I’m at work because of what I have given up to be there. I need to make every second in my studio count, and I feel like that is really helping to focus my work, and take me into a new chapter of my career.

  Quentin Jones, illustrator and filmmaker

  Be true to yourself. Creative living requires you to be vulnerable, emotionally honest, and open to both your intuition and the world around you. I think that the most important advice is to follow your intuition and stay true to your values above all else. I’ve found that the most fulfillment comes when my soul is my goal path.

  Piera Gelardi, executive creative director and co-founder at Refinery29

  Don’t keep your ideas to yourself. Be confident that you can do it better than the next person, but for that to happen your idea needs to be out there so people can feed back on it, and help you get what and where you need. I’ve found that people are very eager to give time to someone who is passionate about something.

  Lana Elie, founder and CEO of Floom

  To assume gender equality at all times, even when evidence of the opposite is staring you in the face, and doggedly proceed under that assumption.

  Penny Martin, editor-in-chief of The Gentlewoman

  Trust your instincts, because they’re always right. Also – no matter what – remember to carve out alone time to reflect and regroup, because you’ll never be as productive as you can be if you don’t. It’s easy to feel that you should be working all the time, but down time is equally important.

  Victoria Spratt, journalist

  One thing I’ve found really useful is sticking to the 20 per cent rule (or at least that’s what I call it). The next time you negotiate a salary or payment, ask for 20 per cent more than you think you deserve – because you’ve almost certainly been undervalued, whether unconsciously by yourself, or by the people paying you. So just go for that extra 20 per cent. Maybe your employers go for it, maybe they won’t – but you’ll definitely feel better for having tried. And when you’ve tried it once, that makes it easier to do it again.

  Zing Tsjeng, journalist and Broadly editor

  Get help. I spent a long time believing I had to do it all, and that no one else would do the job as well as me. That’s bullshit. Sure, no one can write my books for me, but getting help with the other stuff means I can free up my brain for the deep work that I really love.

  Anna Jones, cook, stylist and writer

  Be in this together. Be with each other. Respect all industries and the work they entail, even if you don’t understand them. Collaborate – cross-pollinate each other with your skills and experiences. Make friends.

  Missy Flynn, restaurateur

  Always pick up the phone over sending an email. And always eat breakfast.

  Alicia Lawson, director of Rubies in the Rubble

  Be enthusiastic and amicable, but don’t let anyone walk over you. Get in touch with everyone you want to work for and make sure they know who you are.

  Francesca Allen, photographer

  Really get to know your industry inside and out, not just your own specific role. I meet so many people who say they want to (for example) be a fashion editor – but if that’s what you want to do, then you really should know how a buyer’s job works, how a designer’s job works … heck even how the intern’s job works! All of those things affect you. Also
– don’t be afraid to take risks. Sure they might not always work out exactly how you planned, but better to have tried.

  Lynette Nylander, writer, editor and creative consultant

  Guilt about what you haven’t done or can’t achieve makes a louder noise in your head than joy at what you have done, and have achieved. Be mindful of your own expectations of yourself and remember to celebrate your creativity, your problem solving and your sheer can-do attitude at the end of each day. If you are appreciative of yourself, so will others be.

  Caryn Franklin MBE, fashion commentator and agent of change

  That boardrooms are places you should exist in. That doing something you care about will mean you do a better job. That eight hours of sleep a night is necessary. Ask more questions. Take more baths. Your work-life balance will constantly hang in the balance, but ultimately you decide which way the scales tip. Be aware of the times when work has to come first, and sensitive to those moments when your family and friends should be your priority. Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Be focused. Go slower. Be a perfectionist, even if it doesn’t come naturally.

  Nellie Eden, co-founder of Babyface